News-Lite 10-31

In the wake of Libya's newfound liberation from Gadhafi, men will now have the freedom to marry as many women as they please.  

A New Jersey Baggage screener will be fired for giving a handwritten note that said, "get your freak on girl' to a traveller carrying a sex-toy onboard.

An Oakland man made the fateful decision to take his mother-in-lawon his surfing vacation.  While swimming in the ocean, she made a tragic encounter with a shark.  The shark is now in critical condition, and his doctors think that he will not make it.

St. Petersburg times notes that Goldman Sach's CEO hourly wage is only $9,165, and not $16,000 as Rhode Island protestors claimed in a protest sign.  

Santa will not be visiting several cities this year, including Columbus, Ohio, saying that they just don't have the funding to support him.  

News-Lite

A San Francisco man trapped himself into a baby swing on Tuesday on a dare.  He used dishwashing soap to get his legs through the holes on the swing, but then could not get himself out.  By the time police found him 9 hours later his friends had abandoned him.  Tragically, it appears that his ego may never recover from this event.




In other breaking news, this week Fred Meyer will be opening its 107th Super-Mega Shopping Center within the Portland area.

"This one is going to be really really big," Fred Meyer CEO commented.

In addition to grocery, technology, furniture, and clothing departments, this store, which will occupy 7 city blocks, is also offering dry cleaning, pet-shampooing, doggy and children daycares, a sit down restaurant, and a gym.

 Compasses will be handed out to customers when they enter, along with a map.

The store will also offer overnight accommodations for those who wish to make a mini-vacation out of their shopping experience.  

Sleeping Bag for Teddy

It seemed high-time for the little boy who I take care of 

to have a new craft project; and so it occurred to me to create a blankey of sorts

for his inseparable Teddy, Orso (Orso is Italian for bear)

Here's the patchwork color pattern that I came up with; 

I liked that I used some of the lace edges from an old sheet across the rim

I cut up an old sheet and lined it with batting;  Joseph helped me sew 

some of this sleeping bag together.   

And here is the finished simple sleeping bag, fully eqip with a pillow!  

We attached two buttons to the front of the bag; and here's the finished sleeping bag, with the bear inside!  

Now is that cute or what?  

Occupy PDX

"And if they're learning the right lessons, like, that was crazy, then I'm like, okay." ~Our First Lady, explaining how she feels about Melia and Sasha watching the Kardashians.  (Is like, somebody like working on ValleySpeak???)


But this isn't the point of this post!  What I really want you do is check out these photos!  Hundreds of protesters have set up (now reeking) make-shift homes in what was once a peaceful idyllic inner-city Portland park, full of benches, green grass and overweight pigeons.  

Despite the illegality of their camping, mayor Sam Adams has given no indication of when the protesting will come to an end, reasoning that these kinds of protests are going on all over the country. (Great rationale, Mr. Mayor!)   

Former President Bill Clinton remarked on the movement in his recent interview with David Letterman saying that the Occupy Wall Street Protestors "Need to be for something specific, and not just against something because if you're just against something, someone else will fill the vacuum you create."  

Great point!  And by the way, Clinton really is looking better than ever!  

Fun with Totes

   

This week I got busy making totes for some upcoming shows in the Portland/Beaverton area.  

All of these totes are the same size; the exterior designs, however, are one of a kind.  

This ruffle purse was popular at shows this past summer.

Most of these are for sale as well on my etsy shop

The Feng-Shui Prosperity Frog

Ruth came by my booth at the Art Court this past Saturday and purchased a 'Lizzy' for her 11-year old great niece.

She's been by before.  Ruth is a sweet and friendly woman in whom I have found a true MegExpressions fan!!!!

Ruth was also the first person to tell me that having my frog-prince logo at my table would bring about wealth and prosperity.  Many, many visitors to my booth  have commented likewise.

I even sold this small 'Denise' pouch to a 60-year old man in part because he wanted to be carrying a coin purse with a frog on it!  

Apparently in feng-shui, frogs = wealth and prosperity.

Ruth recommended to me that I put one in my home; putting one by the front door will bring wealth in, and by the backdoor it will channel wealth out.  

I've done a little more reading on the subject and have discovered that the prosperity frog may only work for a time,

and that additionally, it is important to have an energy connection with the wealth frog in order to see wealth and prosperity come into your home!





Maybe I will have to give the feng-shui prosperity frog a try.  It seems so much simpler to place a frog by the front door than to practice more traditionally accepted methods for obtaining and maintaing employment such as accountability, education and maintaing personal hygiene.

For one year anyway.  Then I'll see where I am $at$.

Republican Lawmaker Looking out for the Little Guy

The Sunday Oregonian ran an article titled "Lawmaker would revive dwarf-tossing"

Republican lawmaker Ritch Workman of Miami, Florida aims to undo a ban on dwarf-tossing, a practice common at bars in the 80s of throwing a dwarf wearing protective gear.  His rationale is to create jobs for dwarfs in this sinking economy.
Critics of dwarf tossing claim that it is both dangerous and inhumane to toss a dwarf for play, which is why it was banned in 1989.

I am pleased to see that the Oregonian is taking note of this significant and controversial issue, and is willing to openly discuss its pros and cons.

One critical point that this article never raises, however, is that of employment equality.  Take somebody like myself; 5'2" and 128 pounds on my better days; now could I ever get a job being tossed to and fro in a bar?  Not on my life!  And for the simple reason that I am way too huge for this line of work.

 This is sheer unfairness, no matter how you decide to look at it.   

Chuch Klosterman: Fun Intense Intellectual from North Dakota

Chuck Klosterman came to speak at Powells last night to a crowded room of devoted fans.  "Everyone knows that the dullest part of any book reading is the actual reading", he told us before he proceeded to read from his new book "The Visible Man"


Then he opened it up to questions on any topic.  In his answers, he took the opportunity to do what he seems to enjoy most; comment on popular culture.

Someone asked whether he still plays sims, and Klosterman digressed to talk about how the use of the telephone has changed from the 80s--"there was no answering machine back then, so if the phone rang you had no choice but to listen to it ring or to answer it."  He also bemoaned the frequency of asinine blog comments--sometimes the person commenting hasn't even made the effort to read the blog post-- and the differences between Lady Gaga and Brittany Spears (BS's celebrity image was produced by other people; LG's image has been crafted largely by herself).

I felt like I was listening to an unusually intellectual comedian.  He has a very down to earth and approachable demeanor, coming dressed in a t-shirt and zippered hooded sweatshirt, and an intensity and eccentricity that makes him comical to listen to.

For a good time, check this guy out!  He may be coming to your town next!
Or you can listen to him interviewed by Marc Maron on WTF, in an exceptionally funny Live show in Brooklyn.